my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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