I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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