Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
