Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
