She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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