Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
