got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
