I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
