Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
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Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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