I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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