we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
