Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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