You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
