So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize