i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
