This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize