we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
