Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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