she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
