So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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