Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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