I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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