u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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