New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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