Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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