I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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