The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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