I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
