So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
