i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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