Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
