Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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