Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
