I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize