He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
