The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I can text with my tongue
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
