I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
