Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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