At least make sure they are 18
Why
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
