i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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