marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
