Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
