Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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