Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
