I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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