He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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