He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
