About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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