its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize