There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
