Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
