Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
