I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
