Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
