i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
