you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
