Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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