We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
