Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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