nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
