guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My feet surprised me
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